I went to buy some college stuffs today and ade member tanya..
Friend : Macam mane result?
Me : Tak tengok lagi. Kat luar ni.
Friend : Check la cepat.
Me : Internet tak stable la sini.
Friend : Bagi id and password.
My heart just keep pounding inside my chest, debor weh. i'm sweating! and rasa macam jauh sangat rumah tu tak boleh nak sampai.
Then he screenshot the page with my result and there it is.
It was a good start when it was my first day at the campus. Did I mention it? it was good. and now..today.. I feel that 'feeling' again. Macam feeling baru masuk sekolah/university ni la kan.
After 6 months, after that one semester. I was afraid, that I was not able to feel that 'feeling' again. You know, those 'feelings' of..
excitement in you, to start something new..
determination, that you hold to give yourself a chance..
eager to learn, to teach about what is about to come..
to live life fully, without daring to look back..
Dalam satu semester, I've been through everything that of course I didn't expected. Ada yang happy, ada yang opposite of happy. Taknak cakap sedih, (sedapkan hati) whatever it is, I learned that. Everybody isn't going to love you. Most people sometimes don't even love themselves. People won't always tell you how they feel, but apparently they'll show you. Pay attention. and most importantly is to always remember to forgive yourself, forgive others. Macam cliche je kan but its true!
So azam semester baru, tahun baru. cliche lagi sekali. tapi yes, I still want to meet new people and talk to them. Make new things and show to people who might enjoy them. Hug too much. Smile too much. and when you can, and I can. to love again.
Love gives thousands definition okay?
and I hope I still have my heart, to love.
A little throwbcak wont hurt kan? those days back in kmkn, kedah. We were happy, so much happy. And now still. I am happy.